Upon hearing his comment, what I feared most had stricken down my spine. It was inevitable finally. What has to come, has come. I had to accept the reality. My mood swung 180 degrees.

We rushed home to have a quick lunch, called my mom to ask her to help MIL to take care of the three dinos at home. It was a public holiday tomorrow, so we had to rush to make it to the clinic before the clinic closes in the evening. LA drove and I guided her into KL and to the clinic at Mid Valley Mega Mall.

It was about 1:30 P.M. when we arrived at the clinic. The VR specialist confirmed the detachment area which was holding up by previous and fresh laser retinopexy scars. He strongly recommended vitrectomy to repair the detached retina. The story goes this way:

Last evening, we were told by the doctor in Melaka that everything was stable and the tear was held up by the laser and there was no detachment. But this VR specialist told me the other story. There was a big detachment area and fresh laser mark surrounding that detachment area. One question: Why did the doctor in Melaka give me more laser?

Obviously, (in my opinion) the doctor in Melaka had denied us the truth. I am damn f@$&#*? sure that he did not mention about any detachment in progress at all and what LA and I heard was that “Everything is stable but I just need (and feel better) to put more laser surrounding the blood vessel.”

So, I could wait to see if the laser marks would hold or the detachment would progress slowly until it would need a repair. I made the decision on the spot to be vitrectomized based on several reasons:

• if the detachment has been progressive, it will eventually need a repair.
• the longer I wait, the lower chance I have to have a better recovery because the longer the retina is detached, the retina cells will die and I will loose partial vision.
• since I am already consulting a VR specialist and he can immediate vitrectomize my eye, why wait until Monday or so? It is a long weekend and God knows what will happen during the weekend.

So the decision was made. The doctor immediately picked up his phone and arranged for a vitrectomy procedure. The vitrectomy is done as out-patient procedure with local anesthetic. The entire procedure takes only about 30 minutes and I can go home after that.

The doctor took me to another room to take some photos of my retina. Here are some snapshots of my retina. The first photo was taken in March this year at an optometrist shop. The “X” roughly marks where the tear and detachment area is.

Taken in March this year at an optometrist shop

The photo appears to be cloudy due to the blood and debris in the vitreous humor

The white dots are fresh laser marks surrounding the detachment area (U shape)

After the photography session, they sent me to consult a surgery consultant. At her office, she explained to us what the procedure is and what I shall do after the procedure. I have to sit, sleep, stand and walk with my head facing down so that the air bubble in my eye will push against my retina. Not so bad though, I thought. At least better than the previous one (on my right eye) which I had to sleep only on my left all the time. While she explained to me, my nervousness struck me and sent me a great chill. I was shivering with very obvious tremor.

We went for quick lunch at Gardens and went back to the operation floor. I felt warmer with a sweater which LA brought along. It was 3 P.M. Not long after we arrived at the operation floor, the nurses got me ready into surgical gown. Very soon, a nurse came out from an operating theater and called me in. Why so soon? We were told that my procedure would be around 4 P.M.!

I went into the operating theater and was told to lay down on the operating bed. Then the nurse put on a blanket on my body to keep me warm. Not long after, the door opened and my doctor entered. He gave me a warm greeting and ditto. We started some conversation while he and his surgical team were preparing.

The doctor instilled two drops of anesthetic into my left eye. After a minute, he returned to give me a local anesthetic injection. He pulled down my lower eye lid and poke the needle into my eye. Ouch! He told me to breathe in and out for him while he performed the injection slowly. When it was done, he applied a gauze and pressed on my eye. After a while, a nurse took over. I began to feel numb on my left eye. Later, a nurse wrapped my face with an adhesive film and then cover the other eye of mine with a cloth.

After a while, the doctor came back and started to cut a hole on the film to expose my left eye. I could hear the sound of the instrument knocking on the table and some noises from some equipment. While the doctor was operating on my eye, we chatted. He is from a small town called Jasin in Melaka. He has two daughters. And the gas he is going to inject into my eye is Sulphur Hexa-fluoride (SF6) and it will only last for 2 weeks instead of 4 weeks for C3F8.

I did not feel any pain except some pressures during the surgery. With our conversation, the surgery was over very quickly. It seemed like only 5 to 10 minutes having a chat with a friend. The experience was much better than the cataract surgery I had in 2007. My body wasn’t tensed this time. Perhaps, I am more prepared after the two surgeries previously.

If you are curious about what the doctor did to me, click here. It is the same procedure without the scleral buckle thing.

After the surgery, we went over to Borders at Gardens to browse some books. We left for home afterward and arrived around 8 P.M.

By the time we arrived at his clinic, all his staff had gone back after clinic hour. He was waiting in his office. After the examination, he told us everything was stable and nothing to worry about and he gave me another (4th) round of laser retinopexy. According to him, he felt better to give me another laser to secure the area surrounding the broken capillary which ruptured last Wednesday.

After the laser, he assured us again everything was stable and I would be fine. He sent us home and told me to check in again the next day for a follow up. He also told us that he would not be in so another doctor from Terendak Military Hospital would replace him.

We went home happily and had a good relieve. LA and I had been in and out of the clinic for almost three weeks since I had PVD (Posterior Vitreous Detachment) and retina tear on May 18. I guessed, at least for this moment, nothing to worry about.

After lunch, I took one tablet and felt very relaxing and fell asleep very soon. For almost two weeks, I have had too much bed rest and it becomes quite difficult for me to fall asleep. Xanax has been a great temporary relief.

After returning home from the clinic, I sat at the couch talking to my mum. We were catching up what had happened in the family and the conversation was delight and relax. At about 3PM, I got up and went to the bathroom to take a leak. Then I got some drink and went back to the couch. Not long after I had seated, through my vision, I could see stream of blood oozing out. I knew I was having a bad tear and a blood vessel on my retina had ruptured. That’s why I could see a stream of blood was flowing.

LA called my doctor and rushed me to his clinic. On the way there, the bleeding did not stop and I was extremely freaked out. LA was freaked out by my worries. When we arrived at the clinic, the bleeding stop. At this time, the blood in my eye was enough to cloud my vision.

The bleeding stopped shortly after our arrival. After the examination by the doctor, he gave me another round of laser retinopexy to reinforce the area surrounding the blood vessel. The doctor ensured us the situation was under control and we could return home but to come back for a follow-up the next day.

The market surveyor was taking too much time and when he was finally finished with LA about the survey, I told LA about it and we were worried.

We rushed to the clinic this morning and the doctor gave me second round of laser retinopexy. He said there was a large tear and required more laser to hold up the area to prevent retina detachment. He also said that there was no detachment as yet and not to worried. We went home after that.

The reason to lay on my left is to allow the air bubble in my right eye ball to push my retinal onto the wall of upper right corner of my eye ball.

I had both procedures called pneumatic retinopexy and scleral buckle.

I waited at YC house for LA and the kids to arrive. They arrived around 1900. We had quick dinner and shower and off we went to the Hospital. By that time, the horse shoe shape had covered more than quarter of the lower left corner of my vision.

I was admitted to the Hospital around 2015 and waited until 2100 for Dr. Lim to examine my eye. His presentation had reassured our decision that he was the right doctor despite of good comments from YC’s friends. He took half hour to explain in great details about my condition and my surgery procedures. He advised me to sleep on my right side. This might help to prevent or slow down the retinal from further detachment. The detachment was on the upper right of my right eye. I could have think of that. Our eye sees things in opposite sides. Bottom to the top. Left to the right. I was too worry to think about this basic science I learned from my high school. What an idiot am I?

The nurse wheeled me back to my ward. LA settled down with me and I kissed and said good night to LA, Dmitry and YC. They told me not to worry and rest well and they would be here in the morning.

I felt calm and I guessed I had accepted the faith. I slept on my right through out the whole night.