雨夜
夜雨清风问虚寒，一壶普洱伴君作。– 贺文耀2010年2月8日著。
iPhone is good for business
As I promised earlier in an article that I would write about my experience of using the iPhone. Well, here it goes…
Politics and Religion
Religion is a fraternity of politics which is engineered by politicians to control people’s behaviors and minds. — Adrian Hoe 2010.
This is why “Religion” has initial “R” which comes after “P”.
Good-bye 2009!
The year 2009 is not my favorite year. Despite of some happy moments, 2009 is a year of sorrow and suffering, at least for me. I have recorded enough all the happenings in 2009 and let the memory be the past. So, good-bye 2009!
Well, I have only one New Year resolution for 2010, to fully implement my MIS (Medical Information System) at client’s site before 2010 ends. Simple as that.
I got an iPhone
If you have followed my blog, you must be aware of how I criticized about iPhone and Apple’s aggressive strategy with mobile carriers in my article, “iPhone is in Malaysia!” I have also been going around telling customers and friends that iPhone is not as useful as it seems and is more a toy to attract young generation.
Well, I admit that I was wrong. I am developing a cloud/web-based MIS (Medical Information System) which enables patient to be able to view certain information and interact with the clinic/doctor from anywhere. Likewise, it also provides doctors greater mobility and still are able to care for their patients while they are away.
After reading articles (on Apple’s website) how iPhones help hospitals in the U.S. to provide better healthcare at lower cost, I decided to build the MIS with iPhone support. I based my decision on these reasons:
- Ease of use. I have been toying/using around with an iPod Touch for a few months and I find that it is easy to navigate/use. iPod Touch is essentially an iPhone without the phone. You get what I mean.
- Beautiful UI. Apple is well known for its brilliant UI (User Interface) in Mac OS X and iPhone OS. Nothing else comes closer to it.
- Security. All applications must be approved by Apple and be signed with license keys issued by Apple. Apple’s iTunes Store is the only place to download applications. I can be rest assured to have less (or none) headache about spooky applications from unreliable sources. Of course, there are jail broken iPhones which do not play by the rules but I am not too worried about that.
So, I went ahead ordering one last week. Last night, I went to Maxis center to collect my 32GB Black iPhone. It is such a beauty.
Give me a couple of weeks mingling with it and I promise you I will write about my experience.
明、理、薿、暄
动了手术之后这十几天，在家疗养没事干就沉思。其中想着为儿子们写首诗，也想着把儿子们的名字从双字改为单字。大儿子明谛、二儿子理谛和小儿子薿谛，把谛字去除，各自名为明、理、薿，再加个暄字来凑足四个字。而贺暄这个名字中性也很好听。
翯和合鹤
霞顺十鸣
霓蔼礼一
虹祥拜声
万气佛冲
里薿如云
暄重来霄
。，，，
诗里的藏头为贺姓氏的藏音。大儿子和二儿子的名字再以藏音各自藏二、藏三于第一和第二行里。第三儿子藏六在第三行，暄就藏七在第四行。
鹤为中华文化里的吉祥之鸟。鹤响亮的鸣叫声冲上了云霄而得到了光明（阳光）。是以明白事理的先导，要冲破隔障（云霄）才能看清楚（阳光）一切事理的对与错。
第二行看似有点佛教的味道。它是以佛学（非宗教）里的哲学为基础。在佛学和这诗里，佛的意义博大精深，指的是有高等智慧而非一般凡夫之人类。如来是指大自然宇宙里头的一切知识和定律。这第二行意味深长。指的是以底姿态、诚恳地追寻大自然宇宙里头的一切知识和定律以增加本身和人类的智慧。
第三行则有和气、顺利、慈悲和吉祥之气薿薿。兄弟姐妹之间和周边人和蔼地相处。
当之前所有三大条件达成之后，三兄弟不只德高望重，人人敬仰，还让贺氏的声望气势如虹，名扬万里。
他们能不能做到，那就要看看他们长大后对这诗的领悟和造化了。或许他们做不来也无所谓，但愿他们努力为达成诗意，将之传承于后代。
献丑了。
佛教的衰亡（三）
（接前文）
现代佛教看是昌盛，几乎全世界各地都有佛教的踪迹。但是若干都已偏离原本的佛学。在这金钱为上的现代社会里，没有钱，出家人哪来饭吃？出家人也还是凡夫一位，也会肚子饿，要吃饭。寺庙需要钱维持。水电费、杂物费等等，都是钱。出家人就好比生意人，只不过方法不同。出家人出外到处为人做法事，不为是赚钱维持生活。有的寺庙也有出售骨灰阁，从而赚取金钱以维持寺庙和众僧的开销。
让我先说怎么样无知，不过先说无礼，因为无知乃无礼的因；无礼乃无知的果。
在第一章里提到，很多素不相识的“念佛人”来到我父亲家，礼了佛就坐下开始念佛。他们会尊敬佛而向佛礼拜，却没向逝者家属问候安慰。连这个基本礼仪也没有，难道这些人知道入庙拜佛要恭敬，不知道进屋敬人的礼仪？好歹都得问候和安慰一下家属。毕竟家属都是凡人有七情六欲，难免丧亲之痛。
今天是我父亲的头七。我们到家里拜了之后，就到释迦院的骨灰阁祭拜。当周围没人祭拜时，我走到我父亲的骨灰龕前瞻仰。由于我父亲的骨灰龕很靠近位于正中的地藏王菩萨像，我所站位置差不多就在佛像的前面。这时一位青年人手持一柱香悄悄地走到我身后，也没请我暂时避开好让他膜拜，就这样跪下膜拜。究竟他是在膜拜地藏王菩萨还是我的屁股？正当我要退后离开时，我哥哥喝住了我。幸好没有撞上那青年人手里的香。这是对地藏王菩萨无礼，因为该青年人没请我回避就贸然向地藏王菩萨膜拜。该青年人无知因为他不晓社会礼仪风范，不顾及他人的安全（万一手里的香灼伤了人怎么办？）。
好了。说完无礼和无知，现在要说这些“念佛人”如何玩弄佛法。
我父亲于星期四入棺。入棺前，仵工问我哥哥要不要替我父亲遗体注射防腐剂放干冰。我小姑和她的弟弟坚持不要。我小姑说，多念佛求佛菩萨加持，没事的。准备棺木时，她的弟弟还自以为是的向仵工交代该怎么处理。究竟谁才是仵工？连瞎子都可以看得出来那仵工心里不高兴，但他还是忍了下去。我哥哥没出声，我看在她是我小姑也是出家人份上，也不出声。当晚，我注意到我父亲的面有尸水冒出，我告诉哥哥和姐姐。姐姐说待会她会看看。我哥哥却说这是水分蒸发，没大碍。隔天早上，我看见棺材里已经放了干冰。
我小姑和她的弟弟的行为乃无礼、无知和玩弄佛法。无礼是不尊重仵工的专业知识而冒犯仵工。无知是对尸体自然腐化过程和防腐处理缺乏知识。那几天天气酷热。我父亲的遗体还未入棺前是放在客厅的床上，至少有风扇让空气流通，使腐化过程缓慢下来。当遗体入棺上了盖之后，里面密不通风闷热，就会加速了尸体的腐化过程。生死是自然过程。尸体腐化也是自然过程。佛菩萨都不能防止死亡，更何况能防止腐化？这岂不是玩弄佛法？他们的无知种下了因，得了无礼的果，也得了玩弄佛法的果。
佛教的衰亡（二）
（接前文）
一位北京的朋友得知我父亲病危，送了我一句话：“缘起缘灭，了脱一切众生苦。”。她是一位军人、一位博士生和一位无神论者。她家人都是文武双全的世家。她的寄语包含了众生面对生死的大智慧。
缘起缘灭，了脱一切众生苦。缘就是一切因果。有了因就有果。有了父母，就有我。缘起就是当我母亲怀孕有了我开始，他们就成了我的父母亲。缘灭就是我父亲要与世长辞了，不能再看到他了。因（父亲）了果（我）还在。不过他在我心里还是我父亲，到我与世长辞为止。缘起缘灭即是一切没有永恒不变的也不虚无的，也有生生不息的意思。现在，轮到我（因）和我孩子（果）缘起缘灭，一代接一代的传承下去。到时候缘灭，就放下一切，不畏死亡，勇敢面对。这就是了脱一切众生苦。当然这是我凡夫的理解。要是用般若来理解这一句，焉此简单？
试问，一位无神论者以佛学的智慧来开解我这位信佛者，我何等惭愧？我宁愿做个无神论者。无神论者不一定不能学佛。念佛的人不一定是学佛的人。当我二姐往生时，我把佛学看做为哲学而非宗教。现在，我要以无神论者学佛。
前文我提到这些所谓的“念佛人”，常把佛号挂在口边，去到那，念到那。念佛消遣，消遣念佛。颠倒是非、对人体器官医学狗屁不通，玩弄佛法。何谓佛号？为何念佛？什么是佛？阿弥陀经是为何物？地藏菩萨本愿经又为何物？
我父亲在九月中旬再度入院。9月18日我得到吉隆坡复疹，刚好我大姐要回来看父亲，可以搭我的车一道回来。在车里，我听到她向“念佛”的朋友在电话里说道：“今天是地藏菩萨诞，念一句南无地藏王菩萨相等于念两句。”哗！念佛也有搞积分的吗？好像去某某购物中心用它的购物卡购物，每花费一元得两分。念一万句相等于念两万句的功德？还不快快念！
我记得小时侯（六到十岁左右），我父亲常带我到青云亭拜佛、吃斋和听禅道老法师讲经。禅道老法师说，烧香是为了驱虫、记时和提神。所以烧一柱香就够了。烧太多很多烟，对呼吸系统不好。禅道老法师也说，念佛要慢慢的念和用心的念，不能急。能够念到一心不乱才是真的，而非念越多越好。念佛也无需大声地念，无声胜有声。能念一句就达成一心不乱，那就是无量功德。
佛学的衰亡，就是取决于这些无知、念佛消遣和玩弄佛法的人。
怎么样无知？怎么样玩弄佛法？
佛教的衰亡（一）
我父亲于2009年10月21日下午3时10分与世长辞。在他往生的前一晚，我堂兄至电通知我说我父亲不行了。当我赶到他家时，他看来有点痛苦。我堂兄、堂弟和我母亲已经大声念佛号。我说要送父亲去医院，我堂兄阻止我还致电给我大姐，她也通过电话阻止我送父亲去医院。堂兄说念佛给父亲去，念佛是这样的。
母亲告诉我父亲的心愿是要在家里往生。可是父亲向我说他要去医院。我向母亲解释说：“让我带爸爸去医院让医生检验。要是医生说不行了，马上送爸爸回家。”最终母亲也答应送父亲去医院。
这时来了好多“念佛人”。有男的，有女的。全都是素不相识的人。他们都是我堂弟召来的。他们有多大声就念多大声。好刺耳。
不到一会，救护车来了。医护人员把我父亲抬上担架之际，这些念佛人就马上停止念佛号匆匆离去。我堂弟也马上收拾东西离开。之后就没再回来。我堂兄向我说道：“医院你要去你去，我不去。”
到了医院，医生给我父亲做检验告知我父亲不行了。从他的生理信号看来，他有可能今晚就走了。为达父亲的心愿，我即刻替他办出院送他回家。医生说父亲的肺开始积水呼吸困难，输氧气能舒解他的痛苦。我就决定向医院租用氧气筒，可是父亲他坚持不用，所以就退还了。
回到家，我小姑（我祖母领养的）的弟弟和弟妇也到了。我小姑是方外，他们此时赶来其中目的自然也是念佛，有多大声就念多大声。到了凌晨3时还在念。我眼看我太太和三个孩子都疲倦了（老实说我也很疲倦），就带他们回家。这时父亲向我大声说：“回去吧。”他也三番四次要说话，可是却没力气说也说得有点含糊，加上念佛和法器铿锵大声刺耳，很难听清楚他的说话。
早上我们过来时，他们还在念。这时父亲他已经不省人事了，呼吸也很吃力。不过他的左手时不时都要拿起来又力不从心，好象是想唤我们那样。我看了都快哭出来了。等到我的大儿子放学，我们逗留一阵子，我就送他们回家吃饭。我们离开的时侯大概是2时。这时我大姐已经回来了。她马上加入念佛。当我们回家时，只剩我大姐一人在念。其他“念佛人”呢？都不见踪影了！3时10分父亲就往生了。我们没亲眼看着他往生。
晚上又来了好多“念佛人”，又大声大声的念。我的孩子生性好动活泼，最小的三岁，最大的才七岁。他们都还年幼不懂事，坐不久就到处跑玩耍去了。我和太太拿他们没办法。小孩玩耍时，笑声大了点。过后有位念佛人过来向我堂兄问道：”我们在为这位念佛的叫什么名？“。我的天！连往生者的名字都还没搞清楚就大念小念，正如小和尚念经－有口无心！过后他又向我说道：”我们在为他念佛好让他安祥，叫你孩子不要吵闹。”。我即刻回顶了他一句，“你们念你们的”。小孩天真无邪，不知生死何谓，不能怪他们。念佛念到连小孩的习性也不理解，可哀！
我二姐在五年前也往生了。她走的时侯也一样，一大堆人大声念佛念到她断气为止。而且不让亲人接近她，连小孩都不能在场。
他们这些“念佛人”说，往生者要是听到亲人对他们说话、哭或笑（小孩的笑声），那他们就不舍得离开。而且念佛能让他们尽快往生。
自从我姐姐往生那天，我既笑看这些信佛庸众。他们把念佛当消遣吗？他们把念佛当做把人快快送西的工具吗？这是无知的念佛。读者要是“念佛人”看了这文章之后，若生气、若说我业障深重，那我就对你说，你也是愚昧的“念佛人”。
照医学来说，人要死时，肾脏功能衰退，肺功能大幅降低，导致脑缺氧。此时，人进入昏迷状态，五觉尽失。心脏和肺还在自律性的工作。自律性指心肌细胞不需意识来支配，就可以产生动作电位。心脏和肺功能不受大脑控制。它们此时会很吃力的工作至其功能完全衰退停顿为止。这是一切生命必经之路，也是宇宙万物的定律。既然五觉尽失，那逝者又怎能听到这些念佛之音呢？不管你念多么大声他也听不到，那又何必？
还有，如依佛经里说的，若是你造的业，你得自己来承担。那么，念了经，回向给亡者得以减轻他生前所造的业，这又如何说得过去？佛都说了，你造的业，你得自己来承担，那这些凡夫又哪来无边法力，念几篇经回向给死者，得以减轻他生前所造的业得生西方净土？这不是矛盾吗？还是笑话？
那晚，当务之急是给医生看看我父亲。要是还有得救，那就要救。要是不行了，就想尽办法让他过得舒服点，而不是叫这些“念佛人”来大声无知的念佛号。
Dropbox – The magical USB drive
Dropbox, the magical USB drive, let’s you transfer files among computers without the need of a physical USB drive or DVD or emailing. Dropbox on Mac is the latest and coolest file sharing technology made available today.
I have been using Apple’s iDisk to sync and share files among my computers, iPod Touch (iPhone) and as well as clients and co-workers. Two days ago, I discovered Dropbox and I now find it easier to use than iDisk and it is faster! It is free for a 2GB storage or upgrade with a small monthly fee.
One cool feature of Dropbox is that when someone drops you a file in your folder, Dropbox notifies you using Growl. iDisk lacks this notification feature and usually the file arrives silently unless the sender texts or emails you.
Dropbox can work offline. Dropbox on Mac will sync your files and folders to your local hard disks and allows you to access later even when offline. The sync is done automatically.
I used to copy some files on my USB drive and take them to my clients. Now I no longer need to bring anything. Just use my client’s Internet browser to access my Dropbox and viola! The files will be transfered to my client’s Mac.
Of course, there are many ways to use Dropbox for your productivity. For example, taking your lecture notes to the lecture hall without carrying anything at all, not even USB pen drive. There are some other ways of using Dropbox, read here. But that’s not all. Please tell me if you find any other use of it.
Sign up here for extra 250MB of disk space!
Nightlighting
Recently, I have been reading a little about women’s health while working on a software project. It is astonishing to know most of the facts about women and women-related illnesses. When reading about menstruation, I learned some terms such as menarche which means woman’s first menstruation, dysmenorrhea which is a medical condition characterized by severe uterine pain during menstruation.
Heredity, diet and health condition can affect a young woman’s menarche. This is something most parents with growing young daughters have overlook. Diet plays a very important part in young women especially teenage girls. Many teenage girls despite of having their menarche years earlier, neglects or intentionally limit their dietary intakes for body slimming purposes. This ignorance can seriously affect their reproductive system.
One most interesting fact I learned about menstruation is the term “Nightlighting”.
The word “menstruation” is etymologically related to “moon”. The terms “menstruation” and “menses” are derived from the Latin mensis (month), which in turn relates to the Greek mene (moon) and to the roots of the English words month and moon—reflecting the fact that the moon also takes close to 28 days to revolve around the Earth (actually 27.32 days). The synodical lunar month, the period between two new moons (or full moons), is 29.53 days long. — Wikipedia
In some traditional societies without nightlighting believe that women ovulate in full moon and menstruate in new moon. There are studies in both humans and animals where artificial lighting at night does alter the menstruation cycle. While none of the studies have suggested the lunar phase affects the ovulation cycle, bright light exposure in the morning stimulates more regular cycles.
Research also suggested that sensitivity of women’s cycles to nightlighting is related to nutritional deficiencies of certain minerals and vitamins. Again, balanced and healthy diet is utmost important to women’s health.
问心无愧
在这短短几星期之内，所发生的一却事情，都不是局外人所能理解的，包括当事人在内。这些变化有如风云难测。被人冠上莫须有的罪名，再加上这些人和周围的人的一极化思想，要做到问心无愧，谈何容易。
接下来的，不会只是一场暴风骤雨这么简单。现在最重要的是把手上的软件工程开发出来，抢先把一却安顿下来再说。
Automated backup
Since August 18, my software development work has been picking up its pace and I have checked in more works more often, at least five times on single productive day. Ever since, I have been manually backing up Subversion directory using tar. My project server is fornax.
Fornax is a 6-year old PC running Ubuntu. It wasn’t working properly due to the cooling fan in its power supply unit. Until about two weeks ago, I replaced the old fan. I am not very confident about the replacement because it is a third party part and the replacement isn’t as good as expected, but it works. I have to shut it down every night before going to bed.
So, the last thing before I go to bed is to backup the svn directory and then shutdown the server. I am quite fed up with this extra manual works. Last night, before going to bed, I decided to automate this process. And I did it this morning.
I wrote a simple bash shell script to do the backup. I cron it so that the process will start automatically at 2300 hours and then shutdown.
#!/bin/bash
BACKUPFILE=/tmp/backups/svn-$(date +%Y%m%d).tar.gz
rm /tmp/backups/svn-*.gz
tar -cj /svn > $BACKUPFILE
for COMPUTER in host1 host2
do
scp $BACKUPFILE user@$COMPUTER:Desktop/
done
/sbin/shutdown -h +5
UPDATE (05/10/2009): I setup a password-less ssh login so that no password is required for scp (secured copy). Now, after the backup, the backup file will be copied automatically to two other computers for safe keeping.
95 RON sucks!
The new petrol, 95 RON, which was introduced on September 1 really sucks! Not powerful, not quieter and not economical at all. I still prefer 97 RON.
Making my dad proud
Perhaps this is the most difficult post ever for me to write. A mixture of emotion makes it even harder to start and it is impossible to write this post without shedding tears and touching emotion.
Night watch
Last night I was on duty to watch over my father at Hospital Pantai. Before my shift began, LA and I went downtown for a quick dinner and also to buy some satay for my dad upon his request. We were back to the hospital about 9-ish. Since my dad was very hungry, they did not take his glucose level. He finished his satay aout 9:30P.M.
About 30 minutes to midnight, the nurse came in to give dad some medication and his nebulizer. I told the nurse about the glucose level and she took the reading after everything was settled. I reminded the nurse to take note that the glucose level was taken post-supper. Then we tucked my dad to bed.
Half an hour later, he said he wanted to pass motion. I called the nurse to get help. Then there was some commotion. Two nurses and I helped my dad to get up the bed to sit on the commode. While waiting, the nurses changed the bed linen. Unfortunately, nothing had been passed out. Dad actually fell asleep around midnight.
Around 1:45A.M. this morning, he woke up again. He wanted to pee and to have some water. Then he went back to sleep. He was sleeping quite soundly that I could hear him snoring.
He woke up again at 3A.M. complaining his back was itching. He told me to rub some Betamethasone cream. He went back to sleep only this time he was sleeping sounder. Unfortunately, he was disturbed by the nurse again 5A.M. in the morning. The nurse took his blood pressure and glucose level reading. His glucose level was 6.5 compared to 13.5 at 11:30P.M. After the nurse gave him medication and empty his urine bag, he went back to sleep.
At 7A.M. another nurse came in trying to wake him up for a morning wash, I told the nurse to allow him to sleep. The nurse told me that there would be no student nurses today because of the Merdeka holiday. I replied without hesitation, “Then the nurse can do it. That’s what the nurses are for.” The nurse wasn’t quite happy getting a whack (literally) from me. She stood there for a while then took off.
As there were college students came to do their internship with me before, I really dislike the idea that businesses and company take advantage on interns as a damn cheap labor to do all sort of donkey jobs. I can imagine how these in-house nurses take advantages on training nurses and get them to do all sort of donkey jobs the in-house nurses won’t like to do. I think that nurse deserves a whack from me.
He woke up at 8A.M. to wash, took his breakfast and medication and watch the live telecast of Merdeka celebration on TV.
Mom, Mee and BS came so I went home at 9A.M. Before I went home, a nurse came to assist my dad to the washroom for passing motion and then gave him a morning bath.
Protected: Conclusion statement
思退
思退
三一
复步
而以
后观
行变
沉墨羽
Strikeout the word “Bumiputera” for unity
The Najib’s new administration has just merely passed the first 100 day and he has already shown his dedication to unite the people of Malaysia. New economic policies such as the 30% compulsory “Bumiputera” stakes in IPO (Initial Public Offerings) has been abolished. This is going to stimulate, for sure, more foreign investments into the country. Good for economic growth.
As far as “Unity” or “One Malaysia” is concerned, the word “Bumiputera”, should be strikeout and will never exist in the dictionary of the Malay language. Literally translated, it means prince of the land. The ethnics Chinese and Indians, although they are the lawful citizens of Malaysia, they are not the prince of the land.
Let all be referred to as “Rakyat Malaysia” (Malaysia citizens). For example, there should never be “Bumiputera” and “Non-Bumiputera” pricing in housing properties sales. But when election comes, they call all “Rakyat Malaysia” to vote.
How can the country unite whilst the people are divided into “Bumiputera” and “Non-Bumiputera”? I wish Mr. Najib, the new prime minister, will critically consider to abolish the word “Bumiputera” if he is really serious about uniting the people of Malaysia.
Ahmad is Buiputera Rakyat Malaysia. Sivakumar is non-Bumiputera Rakyat Malaysia. I am non-Bumiputera Rakyat Malaysia.
So why divide citizens of Malaysia into Bumiputera and non-Bumiputera?
Irresponsible doctor on-call
Last night, I was experiencing pounding pain on my left eye which was radiating to the back and into my brain that caused headache.
I called ISEC emergency number and spoke to a nurse on duty. She advised me to go to A&E of a nearby hospital to have my eye checked. One of the factor could be infection.
LA took me to Pantai Hospital. After the medical officer had examined my eye, he rang the opthalmologist on-call, Dr. Lim.
From their phone conversation, we could tell that he was reluctant to come. After many times of persuasion and insistance by the medical officer, he finally agreed to come. But we were told that we would have to wait. What an arrogant bastard!
A doctor on-call is a doctor on night duty. He has to respond to emergency cases at night regardless of the parient’s condition. This doctor’s attitude was really irritating. WTF! After some thoughts, I decided to go home without seeing him. I did not want this irresponsible doctor to earn my money. Furthermore, my pain had subsided due to the paracetamol I took before we left home.
Public transport fares going to increase
The 3:30PM quick news on NTV7 had reported that all public transport (including buses, taxis and school buses) fares are going to be increased by coming August 1. If my memory serves me correctly, the inter-state bus fares were increased by 30% last month.
The new fares will certainly burden a large group of citizens who rely on public transports as their locomotion. The increase of school bus fares will also stretch more burdens to households who depend on school bus service to send their children to and from school.
While the Najib’s administration has implemented some new economic measures to stimulate economic growth and unity, is this increment of public transport fares to balance up his check book?
iPhone 3.0 Software Update
A couple of weeks ago, the iPhone 3.0 software update was official launched. I connected my iPod Touch to iTunes 8.2 and clicked Update. Unfortunately, iTunes said that the update wasn’t available at iTunes Malaysia store. I wasn’t very happy with the service Apple has provided. The update was supposed to be free but it would cost me US$9.95 to upgrade my iPod Touch to iPhone 3.0.
Here’s the screenshots (click to enlarge): Read more
I need a vitrectomy
This morning I checked in to the clinic and the doctor who replaced my doctor told me that there was a large tear and the water (vitreous fluid) had sipped into the tear. Retina detachment was forming and was progressive. He insisted me to seek expert advice from a VR (Vitreo Retina) specialist in Kuala Lumpur.
Upon hearing his comment, what I feared most had stricken down my spine. It was inevitable finally. What has to come, has come. I had to accept the reality. My mood swung 180 degrees.
I see a shadow
Perhaps, the worst nightmare, I have been expecting. After an afternoon nap, I woke up to see a shadow at the bottom of my left vision. It was not black or grey shadow but simply shadow which I could not describe. It was almost 5PM and I quickly told LA to give my doctor a call and hopefully still could catch him at his clinic. The doctor told us to check in his clinic and he would wait for us.
By the time we arrived at his clinic, all his staff had gone back after clinic hour. He was waiting in his office. After the examination, he told us everything was stable and nothing to worry about and he gave me another (4th) round of laser retinopexy. According to him, he felt better to give me another laser to secure the area surrounding the broken capillary which ruptured last Wednesday.
After the laser, he assured us again everything was stable and I would be fine. He sent us home and told me to check in again the next day for a follow up. He also told us that he would not be in so another doctor from Terendak Military Hospital would replace him.
Clearer vision
Today, my left vision has become very much clearer comparing to couple of days ago. This morning, I went to the clinic for a follow up and the doctor’s feedback was encouraging and calming. Everything is stabilizing and nothing to worry about but still more bed rest until I see his retina associate on next Monday after his holiday.
We went home happily and had a good relieve. LA and I had been in and out of the clinic for almost three weeks since I had PVD (Posterior Vitreous Detachment) and retina tear on May 18. I guessed, at least for this moment, nothing to worry about.
Veil vision
My left vision has turned yellowish and veil due to the blood and debris in the vitreous humor. I can see black shadow at the top of my vision which is actually remnant of the blood which has sunk to the bottom of my eye. It will take a few days for the eye to absorb whatever debris and remnant of blood.
Sedated
This morning went back to the clinic for followup of yesterday treatment. My doctor prescribed Xanax to sedate me. One in the afternoon and one at night for three days so that I could sleep better not to worry too much of my condition.
After lunch, I took one tablet and felt very relaxing and fell asleep very soon. For almost two weeks, I have had too much bed rest and it becomes quite difficult for me to fall asleep. Xanax has been a great temporary relief.
More floaters and bleeding
My vision became clearer and appeared to be very much better after the incident last Thursday. LA and I were relieved after my eye test and the examination. The doctor told us that my condition was stabilizing but not totally out of the loop yet. So, more bed rest. I felt quick sick with all the bed rest and lack of physical activities. My whole body was aching madly.
After returning home from the clinic, I sat at the couch talking to my mum. We were catching up what had happened in the family and the conversation was delight and relax. At about 3PM, I got up and went to the bathroom to take a leak. Then I got some drink and went back to the couch. Not long after I had seated, through my vision, I could see stream of blood oozing out. I knew I was having a bad tear and a blood vessel on my retina had ruptured. That’s why I could see a stream of blood was flowing.
LA called my doctor and rushed me to his clinic. On the way there, the bleeding did not stop and I was extremely freaked out. LA was freaked out by my worries. When we arrived at the clinic, the bleeding stop. At this time, the blood in my eye was enough to cloud my vision.
The bleeding stopped shortly after our arrival. After the examination by the doctor, he gave me another round of laser retinopexy to reinforce the area surrounding the blood vessel. The doctor ensured us the situation was under control and we could return home but to come back for a follow-up the next day.
Scleral buckle and vitrectomy for retina detachment
I found a video on YouTube showing how a scleral buckle and vitrectomy is done to repair detached retina. It was yucky the first time I watched it and felt like puking. After watching several time, it became more interesting and I knew what had happened to my right eye almost three years ago. I prayed it would not happen to my left eye.
More floaters
Yesterday, I went to the library to read some books. I returned home at about 6PM in the evening and a market surveyor from an established survey firm came knocking at the gate. I talked to him and accepted his survey. At about 7PM, my vision became worse. I was beginning to see curtain/veil vision. I knew my condition had just become more serious.
The market surveyor was taking too much time and when he was finally finished with LA about the survey, I told LA about it and we were worried.
We rushed to the clinic this morning and the doctor gave me second round of laser retinopexy. He said there was a large tear and required more laser to hold up the area to prevent retina detachment. He also said that there was no detachment as yet and not to worried. We went home after that.
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